November blog- Reflection and Pride

Welcome to November! A month when leaves turn all sorts of colors and fall to the ground producing a beautiful rainbow of rich, earth tone colors that look so perfect as they lay stacked in the yard or in your neighborhood roads and trails.

Remember, in some states, we turn the clocks back one hour (Fall behind, Spring ahead) so the change in time often affects us days later.

There are alot of events in November and it's challenging keeping up with the demands of work, family and socializing, especially for holidays. Remember to be present for the important things and balance everything as best you can. It requires hard work and determination but it can be done!

This month, the topic is Reflection and helping children take pride in their work.

I. Writing - Focus on confidence, not comparison.

As November is the month of Thanksgiving, many classrooms will focus on the theme of friendship, caring, thankfulness and gratitude for their projects and monthly themed performance work. Students writing a reflective piece showing their gratitude for a number of things is a good place to begin to support confidence and build on their kindness in expressing emotion.

An exercise that could help them develop more confidence in reflection is writing "my favorite thing I wrote" piece, which will put the accountability on them as they write about reflecting on something they wrote. It often helps to make a list of things they have written before they begin. This reflective piece is coming from their POV so it's not being scrutinized for content just from expressing what was important to them that they wrote about it with pride and conviction.

When I was in fifth grade, I wrote an extra credit essay for fun to bump up my grade. I wrote it over a weekend and submitted it on the following Monday. There were a few choices I could pick from but I chose to write about the dangers of smoking in bed because I did not like it when my Dad smoked in the house as it always smelled like smoke. I was concerned that, even though he did not smoke in bed, the idea bothered me and in writing the essay, I secretly hoped that it would have an impact on his smoking and he would quit.

When I handed in my paper, the teacher told me it was for a city-wide contest of all the district in the Metropolitan New York area. He also told me he knew that if knew about it before hand, I would not have done it, so he kept that part for after it was submitted. He loved my writing and told my Mom I was going to be a writer someday. Well, it turned out I won the Silver medal for

that submission and got to meet and shake hands with the NYC Mayor and his staff at a special ceremony at City Hall in NYC. It was an awesome experience and I'm glad my teacher saw something in me and gently pushed me to explore my writing skills.

I think the reason I won a medal was because I wrote from a familiar viewpoint. I was ( and still am) against smoking and although my Dad did not smoke in bed, thankfully, I knew it was a bad habit that had no benefits. Ideas for reflective pieces almost always are best when they stem from personal experiences. Some ideas for a reflective writing piece are: I play sports because...; I am good at ...; what it was like when I learned how to...; my first time swimming in the ocean.... It's not hard to dig deep to find your voice.

II. Education - Why Reflection Builds Resilient Learners and how looking back supports growth.

Teachers work hard to impress upon students that looking back on their work is a growth oriented process with many benefits. When students reflect on their writing or any subject, they are not only looking at possible errors and trying to improve, the begin the process of self awareness and determination to succeed. No matter what they are reflecting on, they become accountable for their own path as they continue to go forward with knowledge of the experience in their actions. The term for "thinking about thinking" is Metacognition. It is what makes us learn to analyze how we learn and what we can or need to do to change how we get past certain difficulties. Students who regularly "check in" with themselves to review and think about what they do to achieve their own understanding in their learning process, become more confident to handle difficult situations. Reflection helps to solidify memory as well.

When students work on projects as a team at the same table in class or whether they choose or are given an assigned partner to work with, reflection is used to not only edit the work, but to develop a habit of recognizing the benefits of going over assignments or tasks.

Students want to succeed and get things right just as a singer or musician rehearses for hours to give an outstanding performance. The written work needs the same level of attention in order to unlock the full message it is revealing to the reader.

III. Parenting - Celebrating Effort, not just Outcomes/ Practical Praise Strategies

Just the way teachers must praise their students and help them build resilience, so must parents by helping them stay motivated to learn, accept failures, and move on to understanding growth when they need encouragement. We have all heard the "gentle parenting" stuff on social media, which uses a different approach to praising a child for their accomplishments and successes. Instead of always saying "good job" or "way to go," which is vague and may not have the impact it needs for the child to feel wrapped in the confidence, the common belief now is to use "I notice how hard you worked on those tasks in your math homework," or "I see you have figured out how to phrase the explanation with the correct parts of speech in your report."

This names the specific action that targets the child's work, giving them exact ownership, not just generalizing a subject matter, but putting them in charge of getting credit for their work, so to speak. Parents and family members must remember to focus on the process the child is working on.

Each step, whether it is easy or difficult, can be acknowledged, giving your child the confidence to keep being motivated and stick with a project even when they are struggling.

By supporting a child through their difficult moments, we teach them that life and all that goes with it, doesn't always have the positive experiences we want or expect. Validating their struggles help them to face that it is normal and part of life to have those moments and it is not an indication of failure, it is a learning point.

One thing that helps children reflect is for parents to ask open ended questions so they can respond on their own experience. An example would be "How did you feel when you finally solved the math problem (or finished the essay on how our lives have improved through technology?) Give them reason to process their own methods and see what worked best.

It is also important for children to see how parents work through their struggles and/or mistakes. Maybe trying a new recipe did not make sense at the Holiday party and it did not turn out the way it should have. Saying to your child,"I messed up the recipe by adding too much pepper or not enough water, but I will go back and try it again." They will see you modeling the importance of reflecting and trying again with another chance at a better outcome.

A fun family activity for November: Create a mini home "writing showcase" using writing samples from your child's work. Create a portfolio of writings to collect and store in a binder or a nice folder with clear pages so they can be revisited from time to time and celebrate the work it took to create!

Important dates to remember for November:

World Children's Day, 20th

National Career Development Month

As always, I'll be dropping another issue in December entitled, " Stories as Gifts." A special project made just for giving a meaningful gift of words from the heart!

Happy November and remember to give thanks and be grateful, always and all ways! See y'all in December!!!